Coming To A Theatre Near You! Apocalypse 2.0

By: Bill Whaley
4 December, 2017

Trailer Fades in: Theme from Jaws plays softly but reaches a crescendo toward the end.

At Breakfast on the Hill

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell: “I Love the Smell of a Tax Cut in the morning.”

House Speaker Paul Ryan, giggling: “Demos don’t surf.”

 

On Fox TV

Pres. Donald Trump: “They train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won’t allow them to write ‘fuck’ on their airplanes because it is obscene.”

 

White House Press Conference

Sarah Huckabee Sanders to reporter: “Hey, man, you don’t talk to the President. You listen to him. The man’s enlarged my mind. He’s a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he’ll…he’ll say, “Do you know that ‘if’ is the middle word in life? If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you, if you can trust yourself when all men doubt you”… he’s a great man!”

Over Cocktails

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi: “Everyone gets everything she wants. I wanted a mission, and for my sins, they gave me one. It was a real choice mission. When this is over, I never want another.”

 

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Shumer:

“You have to have men who are moral… and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling… without passion… without judgment!” He paused. “It’s judgment that defeats us.”

In the Oval Office

Muellar: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that your methods were unsound.

Trump: Are my methods unsound?

Muellar: I don’t see any method at all.

Trump: I expected someone like you. Are you an assassin?

Muellar: I’m FBI.

Trump: You’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill.

Fade to Black: Apocalypse 2.0:
Coming Christmas 2018