Dollar Store Cometh:Chicano Chamber Emergency Meeting 

By: Bill Whaley
8 February, 2020

The Tyrant Proclaimed…

Power of the People?

El Prado Barber, Juma Archuleta, president of the Chicano Chamber introduced the agenda and said, “Before we discuss the proposed Dollar Store Debacle, I’d like to offer a prayer in the spirit of Pelosi on behalf of our President, the newly anointed Tyrant.”

“Prayers do no good,” said Geno, fingering his Buddhist prayer beads. “It’s about money, power, and the law. Nietzsche said God is dead.”

“O.K. Mr. Magoo but we’ve got a fascist emergency here.”

“Yeah. There are no atheists in Fox Holes,” Arsenio said to Geno. “The historic village of El Prado is at risk.”

“The country is at risk,” said the Barber. “Arsenio, you Republicans turned Trump into Stalin. He’s announced a Purge. El Prado can wait.”

“I voted for Johnson. “El Prado cannot wait.”

“He stole the election,” said Geno.

“That’s not stealing, that’s a movida,” said Arsenio. “You guys ran a bad candidate. I’ve got a thousand names on the petition against the Dollar Store.”

“Where is it?”

“Where revolutions begin. Copy Queen.”

“Hey, Mark and Lawrence said you didn’t call them back.”

“I only listen to prayers. I’ll speak to the commission.”

“How can you make a speech when you’re not here.”

“Because I’m from here I will haunt the developers. Ask the doctor’s kid, who spoiled the vega with storage units, about his bad dreams.”

“Don’t get mad, get even, Saki used to say,” said Geno.

“I know where He keeps the keys to the thunderbolts,” cackled Cordova. “We better re-open our capilla.”

“I want to pass a resolution against the Fat Fakir for his fake hair, fake tan, fake facts,” said the Barber. “When I worked in Manhattan he came in for a cut and I broke my scissors on his wire wig. He tried to sue me. Bloomberg always paid up front and tipped big.”

“What does the LUDC say?” asked Geno.

“They’ll need a Special Use permit.”

“What does “Custom” say?” asked Whaley, looking up from his notebook.

“Custom forbids ugly business in the Historic village,” said Arsenio.

“Painter wants the Dollar Store GRT for the “District.”

“I’ll speak to Tele.”

“Tele’s place (liquor store) is the true church of El Prado,” said Juma, as he pulled down the blinds and pulled out a parcel. He stripped the brown paper off the latest issue of Playboy. Tho’ legally blind, Geno’s eyes lit up. Whaley put down his pen. Juma turned the pages.

“I want to read the interview,” said Arsenio. “It’s about Priests who pray with Nuns.”

“They prey on the innocent, “said Juma. “Like the Dollar Store.”

Everybody laughed.