Chicano Barber Back: “One More GED?”

Living Treasures Vamoose
TMS: “I don’t know”

Juma

No te rias de mi que ya yo me rei de ti.

(El Prado) After visiting with his legal team in Denver, the Disappeared Barber, aka Juma Ali Khalid Rachman-Archuleta, who has been confined to the “witness protection program” by the INS for almost two decades, returned to Taos last week. “They told me I’m a fried [flour] tortilla,” said the Barber.

The Barber got caught up in an FBI—INS sweep in the early 90s after the world trade center bombing. “They accused me of giving comfort to the enemy at my shop in Denver. When you’re stoned, Sunnis and Shias look alike. I shaved his head ‘cause he said didn’t have any shampoo. My attorneys refutiated the evidence but the judge and jury said speaking Chicano is considered a radical act–like here. I hear the schools in Taos won’t hire language teachers to teach Spanish in the High School because they can’t find any. I’ve got a GED in Bilingual Ed.”

Earlier this summer, the INS served the Chicano Barber with a United States National Security Letter (USNSL), summarizing Homeland Security’s take on indefinite detention. “I’m on the no mosca” list but it doesn’t say I can’t drive. The government picks up all my speeding tickets to keep my identity secret.”

The President of the Chicano Chamber in El Prado has earned three GEDs while confined to federal detention. “I have an endorsement in bilingual ed, street talk, and a special license to study toxins. Hey, I got my GEDs because I could read not because of social promo.”

The Barber has been praised for his work on Judge Sam Sanchez’s Drug Court. “Yeah, I’m their liaison with the community. Pills are big on the street today with the kids—most of your old hippies and elderly Chicanos still smoke. Cocaine and heroin have leveled out. Shooters from Telly’s are as popular as ever. That’s why the feds don’t trust Taosenos when it comes to rules and regs here. Call it El Rio de Denio.”

As he stropped his razor, the Barber sighed, “I’m trapped. Like Arsenio at the schools and Gene at the Town. I’d be a candidate for the Living Treasure Program but Flavio tells me the Mayor and Usherwood have decided to do background checks. Arsenio’s doing background checks on potential superintendents this weekend,” said the Barber. “I might apply. I’ve got to get off my feet.”

“Superintendents come and go but politicos, like school boards will always be with us,” says Flavio. “Sanchez pushed through a GRT increase. Now he’s on sick leave in the Duke City.”

“He’s looking for property like Frank Cruz,” said the Barber.

Living Treasures Vamoose!

Flavio says the Taos Living Treasures program traditionally honors the elders in the community for their volunteer service. The public writes letters of nomination and judges select winners. Traditionally, the pueblos of Taos and Picuris have selected their own honorable ones. In the past, the Town of Taos and the Taos Center for the Arts have co-sponsored the event.

This year, the Town of Taos withdrew its financial support at the last minute. Mayor Darren Cordova said there were problems with the budget, according to Flavio. (The new GRT should cure that problem in the future.) But Flavio also says the Journal North featured excerpts from a letter by Kathy Cordova, the Cantankerous Cordova’s wife, admonishing a former student, the Mayor, for involving himself in the Taos School Board controversy. The mayor’s former teacher was also co-chair of the Taos Living Treasures program.

Apparently, the judges met and selected Cowboy Chet Mitchell, Jumpin’ Jeff Northrup and Lovely Feloniz Trujillo. The program was scheduled for Sunday August 15, 2010 at the TCA Auditorium. But The Living Treasures Committee received phone calls notifying them that the program had been delayed “because of the budget.”

Flavio says folks were set to bring food for the reception. Feloniz Trujillo’s son in California bought air tickets to come to Taos for the event. The controversial Jeff Northrup—both beloved and despised–was selected. Some suspect the Northrup—Cordova feud may have undone the program. “Local politics is full of gang-bang violence,” said the longtime custodian. “Look at the schools. El “No Se Socio Promo”  Weston has rehired two retired employees from the finance department at $60 per hour—despite their negative evaluation by Los auditores.”

”Whatever happen to the idea that a man is innocent until proven guilty in America,” asked the Barber.

“Juma Ali, when you’ve lived in El Norte as long as I have, you’ll understand why Minnow Martinez is the last Spaniard, why Envidia is my Tia’s first name, why Mean Gene voted to raise taxes, and why Tio Arsenio is attacked for saying students should learn to read.”

“Yeah,” said the Barber. “I live here but I’m not from here.”

“And you won’t get out of here alive, cuate.” Flavio cackled, limping out the door and climbing into his mottled gray pick-up. “One day, I’m going to make that vendido Sandoval pay me for my image,” he said to himself, as he drove the belching truck past El Zorro on his horse by the Plaza.

Do not laugh at me; I have already laughed at you.