(Breaking News) Town Crier to be Tried

Local Gadfly Jeff Northrup, sworn to preserve and protect citizens against corrupt politicos, animal abusers, and price gougers will be tried for “Criminal Trespass” on Thursday, March 24 at 9 am in Judge Dickie Chavez’s municipal court. Due to the intense interest in the case, the show trial has been removed to the Town Council Chambers on Civic Plaza Drive in order to accommodate the press and public. The dispute between Mr. Northrup and Mayor Cordova occurred during the 4th of July holiday at the Mayor’s uptown residence during a patriotic birthday party for the USofA.

According to Northrup, persons unnamed were using fireworks, contrary to the Town Ordinance, near or at the Mayor’s home. The Town Crier approached the Mayor’s home to warn residents of the danger but was subsequently arrested by the Mayor’s police force and charged with trespassing. Northrup, according to officials, a former mayoral candidate, had been warned to stay clear of the Mayor’s domain—due to incessant picketing and his annoying presence.

Despite the threat of imprisonment, Jeff, in what might be considered an act of civil disobedience, followed his conscience. As local citizens know, it’s always, “Safety first” when the Town Crier comes to your door. (Contrary to rumor and/or unlike the supine and somewhat hefty but face-down inebriated female, Northrup wasn’t tasered…not yet…according to the spokesman for Superman.)